Tuesday, March 26, 2013

What To Do When You Are Duped, Cheated or Wronged

I have been duped. I allowed someone to be a part of something because it would have beneficial-if it had worked out. I was warned! This person had duped someone before. I thought I’d be so nice and it would all work out. I’m all about giving people second chances. Like the boyfriend I had in high school who was an alcoholic. I thought I could fix him and give him just one more chance (over and over) to prove he was ‘kicking the habit’. That did not work out.

Well, I won’t be dooped again. I can be nice and genuinely ask how this person is doing if I ever meet them somewhere. However, the trust is GONE! What is the saying “Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice, shame on me.”

But here is my dilemma. I do not advocate talking bad about anyone. In this group, I only referred to this person as the ‘mystery person’. I never used a name. But, I now know this persons motives are not pure by the two acts that have occurred. So, do I tell others in this group to watch out for So-N-So in the hopes that sabotage cannot be used again on different people? Do I allow it to ‘play out’ in the hopes that it will be different the next time like with my old boyfriend? Hummmmm. I wonder! (Another layer, I think a relative is in the group with us. What then?) I also do not want to be passive aggressive and just let this act go unanswered. I would love to go talk to that person and show them all the false emails and communication in a hard copy and say 'thank you , but no thank you!"  (But I was advised by a VIP to just take person off email contacts.) I hate passive aggressiveness.

I hate those kind of prayers, too, that are wrapped in LOVE. “Let’s pray for (name). She is not wearing her wedding ring.” Okay, let’s acknowledge that is just gossip!! I don’t want to gossip but I want to warn. But warning seems like gossip to me. GRRR!

I also am comfortable with the fact that I tried to give this person another chance. Jesus gave lots of second chances. So, I would rather have 'sucker' written on my character than 'you are not worth it' written there. So, I guess what I am saying is, be open to being duped and cheated and  wronged and don't take it personally when you are. If there is a chance a person will made a different choice and make a good choice, give them the  chance. It may make you look foolish but risk it. Jesus looked foolish to the Sadducees and Pharisees. But Jesus did say, "Go and sin no more!" If  our action enable a person to sin, we are perpetuating the behavior. So, somewhere there is a fine line between giving second chances and helping someone stay in their sin. (That would be an interesting debate.)

1 Corinthians 3:18 If any one of you thinks he is wise by the standards of this age, he should become a 'fool' so that he may become wise. For the wisdom of this world is foolishness in God's sight.
1Corinthians 1:27 God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, God choose the weak things of the world to shame the strong.
1 Corinthians 6:7 Why not rather be cheated? Why not rather be wronged?

When I get to heaven, I know all of my life will be laid bare before the Lord and I will have to give an account. I guess I would rather have 'sucker' on my soul rather than 'no chance' written there. 1 Cor. 14:25, 2 Peter 3:10 and Heb 4:13 says everything will be laid bare and and uncovered before the Lord. I sure hope I have bound love, forgiveness, mercy, grace for others, boldness for gospel and other good traits on myself. I hope I have loosed  and scraped off the dross of selfishness, pride, fear, unforgiveness, lust and other negative stuff when my motives and heart are laid bare before the Judge.

What do you have growing in your heart? As much as it depends on you, what has ahold of your mind, soul and heart?